Rectum on the Rocks by Bob Narley - The Mighty V

Submitted by Webmaster Steve on Mon, 2006-10-23 08:50
tag(s) :

Song Title: Rectum on the Rocks
Performers: Bob Narley - Guitars, Drum Mix, Vocals, Puck - Vocals, Jack - Vocals
About the Title:
Like all Mighty V songs the song title came from the listeners who would call in the title ideas for the band to theme the song around. This title came from a news story reported by Puck about a recent surge in people inserting ice cubes into the rectum of passed out friends in order to awaken them. The news report claimed "There is no medical proof that this method will work, other than the shock of inserting anything into someone's rectum". The doctors also advised against it, and we all agree.

About the Mighty V:

The Mighty V, proving that improvisation is still alive and well in rock radio.

The idea was simple, listeners would call the Bob Narley Show with any crazy song title that came to mind.  Bob and the rest of the crew would each write down a verse of their own lyrics.  Bob creates the music and performs it on the guitar while the whole crew sings their verse live and unrehearsed.  It's what improvisation is all about.

Bob Narley named this improvisational project, The Mighty V, after the amazing power of the almighty Vagina.

Note:  All of the Mighty V MP3's were originally recorded live on the crappy studio cassette deck that was attached to the studio console at the radio station.  The cassette deck was horrible, and would not record the right levels or mix of vocals to guitar, not that it matters much.  You'll hear hiss, pops, drop outs, and lots of bad singing.  Many of the older V songs are missing, but were working on it.  Due to bandwidth issues and download times we encoded the original audio to 64kbps @ 44,100 Hz Mono.  Which would make it about FM Quality at best.  Share them with your friends, burn them to CD, I really don't care, however they are not licensed for Broadcast.
Enjoy!

Lyrics?

Submitted by picklejuice on Sat, 2009-01-17 13:52.

Look! On the web! Is it an ass? Is it a troll? Is it a moron who downloads MP3s for free then complains about them? NO! It's ANAL RETENTION MAN!!!!!! You have no lyrics? Why, I'll go through the song over and over again to write them down for you! EAT IT! EAT MY ANAL RETENTION SUCKA!!!! Hah ha ha ha! BOOSH!

Lyrics:
(inaudiable)
(Chuckles)
(a minute worth of music that we could have probably done without. Having fun filling time? Get to the funny, dammit)
Party on a Saturday night,
smokin' that bong and you feelin all right.
Poppin some pills taking GHB.
Better watch out son, listen to me!
Your eyes start to flutter,
and then you pass out.
Your body hits the floor.
Your friends all shout,
"That bastard's gonna die!
Get some ice and stick it in the brown eye!"
Stickin' Ice cubes in your ass?
All you get is ice cold gas:
fart fecal matter all over your socks
an ice cold blast from
Rectum on the Rocks!
Face down, ass up,
keepin ice cubes in your butt.
Face down, ass up,
keepin ice cubes in your butt.

Chorus:
It's rectum on the rocks!
Think you gonna die
Rectum on the rocks
Stickin' cubes in the brown eye

Rectum on the rocks
Think you gonna die
Rectum on the rocks
Stickin' cubes in the brown eye

Trippin by balls off, havin' a good time.
"More water?"
"No thanks, I'm fine."
My mind is going crazy,
my eyes are gettin lazy.
I can't focus.
Everything is hazy.
This is no fun!
What have I done?
Why are they rollin' me over,
putting things in my bum?
I swear I'm fine.
I'll be okay!
Puttin' ice in my ass makes me feel gay!
Why you tryin so hard to keep me alive?
Rre you a preist in MI-5?
If my heart does stop,
tell me why I've been chosen
to have my asshole frozen!
Do you even know what to do?
Who told you it's safe to mix ice with poo?

Please make it in
and I swear I won't tell the cops!
You're the one that gave me
Rectum on the Rocks!

(Chorus)

Rectum on the Rocks:
a new version of CPR.
I like you as a friend,
but this is takin it way too far.
Said I knew mouth to mouth,
but that was a big fat lie.
If you need Rectum on the Rocks,
Sorry, dude, you're gonna die.

(Chorus)

It's a party on a saturday night
smokin' them bongs and you feelin' all right
Poppin some pills takin' GHB
Better watch out son, listen to me.
Your eyes start to flutter, then you pass out
You hit the floor and your friends all shout
"Think that bastard's gonna die!
Let's get some ice and stick it in the brown eye!"
Stick ice cubes in your ass?
That just gives you ice cold gas:
you fart fecal matter all over your socks,
an ice cold blast from rectum on the rocks.
I said face down, ass up!
Stick an ice cube in your butt!
I said face down, ass up!
Stick an ice cube in your butt
Hey!
(Chorus)

*sigh* I have no life...

Seriously, though. With no lyrics to read, you honestly fail. Comedy. Is. About. Words.

Sure, timing is important. You could time grunts properly and get a laugh. But if people have the tiny tiniest issue with hearing your words, they refer to the lyrics sheet so they know. "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" in stead of "Excuse me while I kiss the sky". Subtle to the ear, loud and clear by lyrics. No lyrics, no funny. Period.

Love ya! And, honestly: Thank you very much for the funny sounds that squeeze out of my computer speaker box things. I likes it, I do! *pets the Bob Narley web site until it purrs*

Daaah!

Right On!

Submitted by Bob Narley on Mon, 2009-04-20 19:44.

Thanks for taking the time to post the lyrics. They must have been cut off in the original post.
One correction.

Are you a priest in MI-5?

is actually

Are you a priest, and am I 5?

Damn close...
scuze me while I kiss this guy....